Waffles & Spaghetti

My senior year of high school I took a psychology class. I had always been interested in the human mind and why people think and do things the way they do. Not going to lie here, part of that came from Hannibal Lecter. Criminal Pych interested me the most. I wanted to know how their brains worked and what got them to that point. The thought process of human beings in general fascinated me. Strange for a teenage girl to think about those things now that I’m thinking about it. But hey, I never denied being an odd duck.

Mrs. Watson was my teacher’s name. She was an interesting woman; not your typical ‘black and white’ ways of teaching teacher. She had a spunky side to her, which is probably what made me pay attention more because she was weird. I dig weird.

Anywhoots… during one of our lectures, we were discussing men and women. Obviously their thought processes are so very different. I knew this then, but it wasn’t until I really started to have life experiences that it all made so much more sense. Like I said the human mind is intriguing so I’ve always paid close attention to people and how they behave in different situations. I was the girl in our group of friends that hung out, but was really observant of the things around us. Made me awkward at times, but I am a great listener! Fortunately I have mastered this better as I’ve aged and I’m not so awkward in conversation. Ehhh, ok maybe just more inconspicuous with my analyzing. Baby steps!

So men and women. This is always something EVERYONE always struggles with. I don’t understand men. I don’t understand women. What the fuck. Blah blahh blahhh. He/she doesn’t get me. Well. Mrs. Watson said one little thing that has embedded itself in my brain. Why? Because it totally makes sense and puts everything in a different perspective. The more I thought about what she said, the more interested I became in reading people. I had to put her logic to the test of course, I was a teenager, of course I’m going to question every little thing. Duh. It didn’t take long for me to realize she was totally right. Huh… this lady knows her shit.

What did she say you ask?

Women are like spaghetti and men are like waffles.

Wait, what?

For real, dead serious. Let me break it down for you. Psh psh ckkkk psh ckkkk uhh oooo ooo psh ckkkk wikkey wikkey brrrrat. My mad sweet beat box skills right there.

Women are like spaghetti…

OK ladies, when we’re with our friends and we tell a story, how long does it take to get through that story? Like 30 minutes or more. Why? Here’s an example:

Jenny: Dude, I went to the store last night and guess who I saw?
Angela: Karen? Eww because nobody likes her. Why are we even friends with her?
Nikki: Right, she was being a huge bitty last time we hung out. She always has something to say about everything. It gets really annoying. I’m kinda over her.
Jenny: I know! I was just thinking about that when I was making dinner after I got home.
Nikki: You made dinner and didn’t invite us over? Bitch.
Jenny: Lol my bad, I just didn’t feel like doing anything. I wanted a Netflix and me night.
Angela: I had one of those the other day too. Along with a glass of wine. OK maybe the whole bottle, but it was worth it.
Jenny: We should have a girls night out soon. I could go for a drink. We haven’t had one of those in so long.
Nikki: I don’t remember the last time we got dressed up and actually went out out.
Angela: There’s that new bar opening off 5th next weekend. Maybe we can find some eye candy!
Jenny: No no no! Last time we did that, I met Nick and I lost a shoe. Karen took our car keys and left with fuckin Gary. And you bitches kept calling yourselves Queens of England.
Nikki: OMG I remember that night! I can’t believe we drank that much. I don’t even know how we’re still alive. And this is why we hate Karen.
Jenny: That’s what Nick said when I saw him at the grocery store the other night. He said we all needed to hang out again.

All of that just to say who we saw at the grocery store the other night. Our brains are wired to make everything touch and overlap. Things are never just stark white. There is always an exception and there is always something else that corresponds and ties to what we’re thinking and saying. I could say ‘Shoe’ and literally we could think of 15 different shoe stories, all of which tie into the pair you have on, the people you were hanging out with last night, what you had for dinner a month ago, and your dog that died when you were 7. Noodles overlap and so do our thoughts.

Men are like waffles…

Nick: Ran into Jenny the other night. I told her we needed to all go out again.
Mark: Her friend Nikki was bangin. I’m down.
Ben: Cool, next weekend there’s a new bar opening. Let’s hit up that place. I’ll text Gary.
Nick: Nahh, he’s with Karen and she’s got him on a tight leash. Pussy whipped bro.
Ben: Ight, text the girls.

Men’s thoughts fit into each little square. Nothing ties into anything else. You say ‘Shoes’ he looks at his feet or says ‘huh?’ I’m not dumbing men down by any means, I’m just saying they are wired differently than us. It’s why they tend to be less emotional on certain things. They’re focused on the right now event and don’t understand how your shoes are making you cry about your dog dying, let alone your dog dying when you were 7 and how it pertains to your shoes. That baffled look on their face, ‘Dahh Faqqqq’… Yeah ladies, this is why.

I tend to be more logical and mellow about things and maybe this is why. Maybe because I’ve paid so much attention to other people and learning how they operate it has given me more patience and the ability to explain things to others. My biggest thing when talking to my lovely or the kids is always to ask, ‘does that make sense?’. I want people to understand what I’m saying and where I’m coming from. If they don’t get it, I’ll break it down another way. I also believe this is where my love of words came into play as well.

Say goodbye to men are from Mars, women are from Venus. Next time you don’t understand what someone is saying, thinking, or feeling… think spaghetti and waffles. Maybe it’ll help.

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